Wow, discontentedness. To be a malcontent in your own life. This has been plaguing me for years. One day I feel quite pleased with where and who I am. The very next day I turn for the worse and can’t stand it. What is the deal? I am pretty sure that I am not the only one who struggles with this issue.
For myself, this stems from two opposing goals and the always interrupting and ever-present every day life of being a husband and father. Now, don’t get me wrong when I use the word, “interrupting”. I just want to point out that maintenance of my current life and progress towards either of these other goals don’t mix well. Whenever I start planning out the route to either end, inevitably, life steps in and interrupts.
No matter which road I choose it will involve a fundamental shift of focus for my whole family…
I guess that means the maintenance cycle continues. So, here I sit, discontent.
Since, I am sitting here lamenting publicly I should probably clue you in on these two opposing pursuits:
1. Open a coffee-house. Work in an environment of which my wife and I both are very passionate. A little coffee, a little tea, and thee. (Not to mention almost $5000 in commercial coffee equipment in our garage.)
2. Go into full-time christian missionary work to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a world in desperate need of “Good News”. A life consuming passion for us both.
I don’t see maintenance as a means to either of these ends.
And herein lies the greater problem: Until we, as Christians, take those deep cries and tears of discontent we send to heaven and pour them out for the lost and needy, we’ve done nothing more than to, once again, ask for the cosmic genie to deal out our wishes. That is not the God of Scripture. That is idolatry and a false gospel we preach to our own hearts. A damning gospel preached to all who live around us.
Rather than the cry of Samuel, “Here am I, send me.” we say, “Here am I, make my life comfortable. Or at least quit changing stuff!”
And now for: a timely reconciliation
October 15, 2010 was a momentous day for me. It meant the end of 3 years of employment to the same company. It was good work. Work that I enjoyed often, despite it’s frustrations. Here’s the kicker though: I was supposed to be taking classes to finish my degree and move on to my masters of divinity. In other words, I was supposed to be studying to be a pastor. But life interrupted as usual and I stayed until God moved the company out-of-state and left me behind.
From there it was off to look for a job… Have any of you tried to do that lately? 9 months later I land a job through some friends on FB. That is just weird. I am no longer an unemployed office jockey! I am a house framer… for all of 2½ months.
Welcome to Worker’s Compensation! This is not fun…
Back to school I go. But with a renewed focus. These seeming disparate dreams have suddenly rolled together for me today!
Coffee House Missionaries!
Now, I know what some of you may be thinking, “stupid christian hipster,” and while the christian bit is accurate it is also true that I am far too cheerful to be a hipster. (Though I will neither deny nor assent to the label of stupid.) These ideas do go together though! As a coffee retailer we have an opportunity to impact our community the coffee growing nations of the world both economically and spiritually! This is not an entirely new idea either. It is being practiced by others as well. One fine example is Sisters Coffee Company in Oregon.
But this is not just about an overseas effort. This is about building up our community and reaching them for Christ.
No matter where this may or may not take us we know one thing: maintenance mode and God as our cosmic genie is no longer an option.